Nothing left to say

We have now entered mid-August and as you can see there have been new posts here. Some may look at this silence and think "where has he gone to?". To them I can only offer my sincere apology and a brief explanation.. I was experiencing things. I was letting the taste of a sweet dish linger in my mouth for awhile before swallowing. I was stopping abruptly during a nature hike to admire the elderly trees disappearing into a looming mist. I was busy finding my way in the labyrinth of cities like Beijing, Shanghai, and Qingdao and witness the triumphs and struggles of change that have imprinted themselves on the landscape. Yes, all of that and more than I can condense into words.

But I was also rethinking my approach to this blog and its purpose. For some reason it slipped out of my grasp and became another "work". As I struggled to create posts that would be interesting to my readers, I often assumed the role of a narrator. This was unintentional and as a result many of my entries contain an externalized perspective that is not my own. From afar it might seem tragic to deal with the everyday struggles that come with living in a foreign country - the impenetrable language barriers, the feelings of confusion, anxiety, and bewilderment.

Contrary to what is seem to be expected by those who have commented on my writing, I embrace these experiences fully and would never seek to denounce or slander them. This is perhaps what most do not understand when reading the "work" of an Other. There remains always the possibility of misinterpretation. To clarify, the Other is our relationship with the external world that is imperfect, incommensurable, and not something one choses to engage; nevertheless it manifests itself in the world. It the "how" that governs what we encounter everyday in varying degrees of frequency and intensity.

It was always my intention to point out the common but unfamiliar experiences of Otherness. Remembering a name or regarding something as beautiful. I never wanted my readers to walk away thinking about how awful an experience this is or frighten them away from making similar visits to a foreign country. I only wanted to point to these areas of tension in order to flesh out the aspect of our lives that are bound to an encounter with the Other. In so doing, there was a great number of sympathetic statements and offers of assistance - all appreciated but which sadly missed the point.

So where is there now to go? A blog without an agenda or direction... is that possible? In my mind it is the only fitting tribute to the Other who does not offer itself to me in any coherent form. In my life there is only a strobe light vision of this vague shape in the darkness. What I do with all my interpretation is an injustice to the Other. I am a tyrant constraining it by the reins of of my paragraphs. And to the Other I say "I see you, but I will not look. I hear you, but I will not listen. You are there where I am not".